hello there. it's lars.
i am feeling WEIRD so i'm going to blog.
i have too much stress in my life so i'm trying to figure out how to reduce it. mostly it comes from trying to pursue DREAMS that may not even be dreams that i would want if i took a minute to think about what i really do want.
i decided i will finish my degree (at least in part, perhaps the whole thing) and try to find a job that doesn't require 80 hours of my week and all of my positive energy.
since making this decision, my world has felt light.
i haven't sat down and thought about how i will do this, or what i will do, but nonetheless i feel that i can do something and be happy. before this, i felt like i could do everything and never be really happy--always grasping for more than i can ever have.
for christmas, i got many books.
i just want to read novels and think about human's weird emotions
and be political and thoughtful and kind
and make some nice dinners and have some projects on my horizon
just tinkering kind of stuff
take a long trip one day that's not bookended by a rush to get somewhere i am moving in my car loaded with all of my stuff--or by my empty bank account
i want to eat pie with my bb and drink coffee in the summertime
i want to smile a lot more than i do now.
almost time for a new years' resolution post.
more to come later.
maybe i will start blogging about my salt block adventures.
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