bagel crying

The last few days have been an emotional rollercoaster. My friend Kia passed away Saturday night after nearly a year of treatments for lymphoma. Kia was such a bright, positive, kind person who was like a family member to many of the people I consider chosen family members. I wish I had gotten to know her as well as others, but our time together was undoubtedly memorable and valuable. It feels unreal that she has passed, as she was constantly hopeful through 9 rounds of chemotherapy, and it seemed as though she would really make it through. I remember the last time I saw her. She worked next door to me, and she came in to chat because she was going on vacation to see her parents, a vacation she never returned from as it was there that she was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma. She looked sick. She said she hadn't been feeling well at all but hopefully she'd be okay soon.

I don't really know what to say because it doesn't feel real or right or fair. Kia was a person who was so full of life and now where is that life?

I've been talking to friends all weekend and crying and trying to do positive things. We bought some cacti for Kia. I'm going to try to plant flowers and send positive thoughts and send all the love & support I can to her partner and our friends who are hurting so badly.

It doesn't seem fair that this horrible disease affected someone who was radiant, and so many lifeless, grumpy people live to be 104. We should all live out our lives in any way we choose, I suppose, and I know that she did just that. Wish she could have spent some more time here on earth, but maybe she's somewhere else entirely feeling all the love that we have been sending her.

I'm so thankful for my friends and for life. I got to look at their faces last night as we had a conference video chat between Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Texas. I wish I could be with them, or see friends that I didn't see last night. Wish we could all just sit or walk or cry or talk
or sit across the table from each other like always.

I guess we have to make an Austin bucket list now

A pretty life changing event happened on Friday. I got a call from a PhD program that I applied to offering me admission. So, I am waiting to hear back from the other schools I applied to, but since I didn't apply for a PhD in Austin, we're moving regardless of what Texas says. I am still in a state of shock. I am going to be a serious student again in September. Going to be making another 20-30 hour driving move, and I'm going to get paid to do it. I am elated, grateful, excited, nervous, grateful (again), and trying to appreciate the time I have left in this city I am growing to love.

So, it's time to make that bucket list:
-go to enchanted rock with Sarah & reed
-go to fredricksburg/hill country and appreciate the stunning Texas desert
-(mountain) bike the greenbelt
-eat at hoover's cooking
-eat at all possible barbecue restaurants (stop in Kansas City, Missouri on the drive up north)
-take pictures of personal favorite Austin landmarks (home steam cleaners)
-go to karaoke at bernadettes

...more to come!

Things are really changing but there is still time for us, Austin!

human & cat

hi!

lots of things have happened since my last post. someone's house exploded in austin because the city wouldn't fix a gas leak. i got a library card. i read some zines. i made pulled pork & wheatberry salad, and probably a lot of other food.

right now i'm reading a book written by a human and a cat. i think i'd like to find a cat who can co-write a novel with me.

i also started making a list of 101 things i want to do in 1001 days. you can make one too if you go to dayzeroproject.com. it's p. cool. it gets me to thinking about all the stuff i want to DO in my life. like learn how to play the guitar, cook lots of different foods, slowly, and just generally learn, build, and do stuff that i've never done before! i hope within the next three years i can take a really long bike trip. i know that i can definitely do some of the things on that list.

WHAT types of things do you want to do in the next three years, kelly?

i'm going to ohio TOMORROW and i am v. excited to see my sister, dad, and cat-nephew. and meet grandma (biscuits).

gotta pack today but also reed is really sick so i hope he's okay and just working himself up because he's going to miss me so much.